💥 The Myth of Resilience: What We Really Mean When We Say “Bounce Back”

Resilience. It’s everywhere. On posters, in policies, in pep talks. We’re told to “bounce back,” “stay strong,” “be resilient.” But what if resilience isn’t what we think it is?

What if the constant pressure to bounce back is just another way of saying: don’t disrupt the system?

As someone who facilitates trauma-informed spaces, I’ve seen how resilience is often weaponised, used to gloss over pain, ignore context, and demand performance over healing. It’s time we asked: resilient to what, and for whose benefit?

🧠 The Problem with “Bounce Back” Culture

“Bounce back” implies a return to normal. But for many of us, especially those living with trauma, neurodivergence, or systemic exclusion - normal was never safe to begin with.

Resilience becomes a mask:

• For unsupported recovery

• For silent endurance

• For systems that refuse to change

It shifts the burden from collective care to individual grit. And that’s not resilience. That’s survival.

🌱 A Trauma-Informed Reframe

True resilience isn’t about bouncing back. It’s about being held while you rebuild. It’s about:

• Community care over self-reliance

• Adaptation over endurance

• Safety over stoicism

In trauma-informed practice, we don’t ask people to be resilient. We ask: what do you need to feel safe enough to grow?

🔄 From Buzzword to Blueprint

If we want meaningful change, we need to stop glorifying resilience and start investing in repair. That means:

• Designing systems that respond to distress, not punish it

• Creating spaces where rest is honoured, not earned

• Listening to lived experience as expertise

Resilience isn’t a badge. It’s a by-product of care.

💬 Final Thought

Let’s stop asking people to bounce back. Let’s start asking what broke them and what we’re willing to do about it.